Novel Boot Camp – Lecture #11: Developing Your Voice

July 17, 20145 Comments

Some novels seem to have everything right – cool characters, an exciting plot, and a fast pace – yet they are boring, boring, boring! How can this be?

In performers, this missing element is often referred to as the “it” factor. It’s difficult to define or explain, but when you see it, you know it! As writers, our “it” factor is our voice. It’s the way we describe things and turn phrases. It’s our word choices, our ability to convey emotion, and our unique yet clarifying metaphors.

But many amateur writers struggle to find their voice. It feels so illusive, so impossible, yet voice seems to come so naturally to everyone else!

Sit back, relax, and have some coffee. I’m going to do my best to help you find your voice.

But first:

Why is Voice Important?

In a world where everyone and their dog has written a novel, the competition is fierce. I believe very strongly that the internet has created an insurgence of unskilled writers (and editors, don’t get me started…) who read a few articles online and think they’ve got this writing thing in the bag.

This means your manuscript must drip with potential in order to stand out from the pack. Unfortunately, a novel without a unique voice (unless the concept is knock-your-socks-off awesome) is going to struggle to get noticed.

Plus, voice is probably the very first thing an agent, editor, or reader is going to take note of. It will also likely be the deciding factor as to whether they like or dislike your writing.

How to Tell if Your Voice is Weak

There are lots of signs of a weak voice. Here are some of the most common:

Nobody will read your novel. You’ve given it to friends, family, and beta readers yet none of them ever got around to reading past the first few pages.

You get bored reading your own work. If you find yourself yawning while reading or skimming over sections of your book, that’s a good sign your voice is MIA.

You wish you could write like (Stephen King, Chuck Palahniuk, John Grisham, [insert favorite author here]). Sure, a certain level of talent envy is normal, but if you aren’t a fan of your own voice, there’s a good chance it isn’t quite there yet.

You get rejected a lot. Rejection is a normal part of the writing process and can be the result of a lot of issues (both inside and outside your control), so I hesitate a bit to include this. But if you get rejected on project after project after project, especially if you never get any requests for partials or fulls, there’s a good chance you’re lacking in the voice department.

Reasons for a Weak Voice

Now that we’ve gone over some signs that your voice is not as strong as it could be, let’s explore some possible causes of a weak voice:

This is your first novel. Developing a strong voice takes time. Every writer wants to believe that he is a prodigy with a naturally fascinating voice, but writing doesn’t work that way. It’s a skill, and one that takes quite a while to learn and perfect.

You’re immitating someone else. An immitation is always second rate. So long as you’re trying to write like your favorite author, you’re never going to find a voice that is truly and authentically yours.

You have boxed yourself into a point of view. Experimenting with third-person limited, third-person omniscient, and first person can help you hit on a style that suits your voice and plays to your strengths. Sometimes switching the point of view is all it takes to find your voice.

You’re thinking too hard. Sometimes writers think too hard while they’re writing (or they revise as they go) and this inhibits their ability to just let loose and allow the words t0 flow.

What to do if Your Voice is Weak

There is really only one way to strengthen a weak voice, and that is to experiment. Here are some great exercises to get you started:

Experiment. Go wild. Take a scene from your book and paste it into a fresh document. Rewrite it in a style completely different from how you wrote it initially. Do this over and over, fiddling with the word choices, the descriptions, the length of the sentences. Get a feel for what it’s like to write in different styles.

Experiment with point of view. Do the same exercise above except write your scene in third limited, omniscient, and first person. Get a feel for what each of the POVs has to offer. Read through the samples to get a sense of which POV is best suited to your voice and style.

Spend time on unstructured writing. It’s easy to get bogged down in writing and rewriting and re-rewriting your novels. Sometimes this can get writers stuck in a writing rut where they can’t see issues with their style. Spend some time (each day if you can) writing something that has nothing to do with your novel. It doesn’t have to have anything to do with anything. Just write for the joy of writing and see what style emerges.

Write from a different character’s perspective. Sometimes a problem with voice can actually be a problem with the POV character. If your protagonist is a whiner, is superficial, or is bland or boring, it can have a devastating effect on your prose. Try writing from the perspective of a different character in your novel (you don’t have to keep the scene when you’re done) and see if your voice seems stronger.

Homework: Experiment!

Choose one of the exercises above and experiment with a totally different style or perspective. It might be just the thing you need to hit on a voice that you can be proud of.

But more than anything else, remember that developing a great voice takes a long time. It’s not going to happen over night. It’s probably not going to happen within your first few years of writing. It’s tough and it’s time consuming.

But hey, if it was easy, everyone would publish a novel!

Connect with Other Novel Boot Camp Participants

Need a writing friend? Got a question? Need a shoulder to cry on? We’re there for you!

I will be answering writing and editing questions on our Twitter hashtag as time allows. Due to the insane volume of emails I’m receiving, I cannot provide free advice or assistance via email. Thank you!

What is Novel Boot Camp?

Novel Boot Camp is a free online novel writing course focused on identifying and correcting problems in your novel. Learn more about Novel Boot Camp and find past (and future) posts here.

Novel Boot Camp – Lecture #10: The Character Arc

July 16, 20149 Comments

We’ve talked a lot about plot and obstacles and even villains, but we haven’t talked very much about the protagonist. Today, let’s spend some time on the most important element of our protagonists: their character arcs.

“But what about their hobbies? What about their romance? What about their likable and well-crafted character traits?”

Yes, yes, those things matter too, but the arc (by far) is the most important. In fact, the character arc is arguably the most important element in your entire novel.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, now you’ve gone too far!”

It’s true, I value the character arc above all else. Above the obstacles. Above the goals. Above the setting and narrative style and plot twists. The truth is, a novel is about the character. It’s about his or her transformation from crippled little caterpillar to spectacular butterfly (or the other way around).

The character’s growth is what makes reading a novel satisfying.

“But what if my novel is plot driven?”

It is the rare writer who can craft an interesting and satisfying story without a character arc. In fact, novels without character arcs are pretty hard to come by (yet character arcs are still one of the most overlooked aspects of novel writing).

A connection to a main character is vital for a novel to be successful in the vast majority of cases. A novel that is plot driven still needs a character arc.

How to Tell if Your Character Has an Arc

You can determine whether a character arc is present in your novel by looking at your protagonist’s behavior and personality in the first chapter and then in the novel’s climax. Has he or she changed or grown? Does the climax involve an act the protagonist never would have been capable of before the start of the novel?

If your character has grown, can you identify exactly what type of growth took place? For example, did your character grow from being cowardly to brave? Weak to strong? Jealous to giving?

If you can identify a character arc, awesome! It may not be strong enough just yet (more on that later), but you’ve got the core of the arc and are ready to make improvements.

If you don’t have a character arc, you need to get one. Pronto.

How to Develop a Character Arc

If you don’t have a character arc, there are lots of ways you can go about finding one. Here are some good options.

Option One: Go with your character’s weakest trait. Make sure that it’s something the character will have some resistance to changing. Choose the opposite trait as their personality’s final destination. Now you just have to string a journey between those two traits.

Option Two: Go with the trait that hurts the character the most. If your character must lead a rebellion, give them a character flaw that involves being incapable of leadership. This will put pressure on their character arc and push them more forcefully toward changing.

Option Three: Go with who you want your character to become and have them start as the opposite. Are they a self-sacrificing hero at the end? Make them a greedy prick in the beginning.

How to Improve a Character Arc

If your character arc is kinda sorta present but could use a little beefing up, there are some simple ways to create a stronger arc:

The character or environment must resist the change. The character could resist the change because they’re scared or in denial. Or the environment could resist the change because girls aren’t supposed to fight dragons or become surgeons. The key is that there must be an obstacle in the way of the character arc. If all they have to do is just be different, it’s not very satisfying.

The character arc should get the character into trouble near the beginning of the book (preferably in the first chapter). In order to understand the importance of the character arc, readers need to see the character fault in action. It needs to be clear why the arc is necessary and why the bad trait is causing problems.

The character arc should complete at the climax of the novel. This means that the final showdown should require that the character make a decision that plummets him or her fully into their new, improved personality trait. Perhaps a character who was jealous in the beginning must sacrifice himself in order to save the girl. This one big selfless act solidifies and completes his character arc.

Identifying a Bad Character Arc

A clear sign of a bad or nonexistent character arc is a paragraph included at the end of the novel that attempts to sum up a character arc that was not apparent throughout the story. This often comes from writers who can tell that something is missing (dissatisfying) in their ending.

For some writers, this attempt at squeezing in a character arc is apparent throughout the novel. The writer seems to realize every few scenes that they need to add a bit more depth to their character. This is often done by having the character reflect on scenes that already occurred and how if only they were such-and-such way, they could have done better.

Remember that the character flaw that is central to the character arc should be identifiable throughout the events of the novel, not just in character reflection.

The last sign of a bad character arc is one that changes. One minute your character needs to be more accepting and the next she needs to learn to trust and then later she needs to be more assertive. When this happens, the writer usually senses the missing character arc and is attempting to fix it by adding moments of depth. The problem arises when these moments do not create a cohesive whole.

Homework: Identify and Strengthen Your Character’s Arc

Spend some time now working on fleshing out this vital piece of your novel. Answer the following questions:

Does your protagonist have a character arc? Does something change about their personality from beginning to end? If not, follow one of the methods above to develop an arc.

Is your protagonist’s character arc clearly defined? Would another writer be able to pick it out without you explaining it?

Is your protagonist’s negative trait clear in the beginning of the novel? Does it cause a conflict or prevent the solving of a conflict? If not, find a way to add this element to your novel. Without it, the character arc has not been sufficiently set up in the reader’s mind.

Is your protagonist’s positive trait required during the climax of the novel? If not, find a way to add this element to your novel. Without it, you’ll be missing the final moment of transformation that makes a character arc satisfying.

Are there other reminders of your character arc throughout the novel? Does your character clearly demonstrate how the arc affects them emotionally?

These questions should help you develop a character arc that is strong and dynamic.

Note that sometimes character arcs go the opposite direction and good characters turn into bad characters. This is okay, you simply need to demonstrate the opposite of everything listed above. How does the positive trait hurt the character in the beginning and help them in the end?

Note also that the character arc does not have to be a transformation from a universally “bad” trait to a universally “good” one. The trait at the beginning just has to be a problem in your character’s specific circumstances (at least from the character’s perspective) and the final trait has to be “good” for the circumstances (even if it’s not truly a good trait). So, for example, a character can transform from a “good girl” rule follower to a “bad girl” who stands up for herself (but neither trait was truly, objectively “bad.”).

Connect with Other Novel Boot Camp Participants

Need a writing friend? Got a question? Need a shoulder to cry on? We’re there for you!

What is Novel Boot Camp?

Novel Boot Camp is a free online novel writing course focused on identifying and correcting problems in your novel. Learn more about Novel Boot Camp and find past (and future) posts here.

Novel Boot Camp – Lecture #9: The Saggy Middle

July 15, 20146 Comments

So you have your novel’s opening, which is interesting, exciting, and hooks in your readers. Then you have your climax, which is shocking and heartbreaking, and followed by an ending that ties up all the loose ends (don’t worry, we’ll learn more about that later). But what about everything in the middle?

On a developmental level, the biggest problem amateur writers have is a “saggy middle.” This is a middle that just doesn’t quite have enough going on. It brings down the novel like a cheap hotel mattress. It doesn’t matter if the sheets are clean and the bedspread is pretty, nobody wants to sleep on a mattress shaped like a banana.

So how do you know if you’ve got a saggy middle?

Writing the Middle was a Struggle

One of the simplest signs that your middle is sagging is that you struggled to write it. If you stopped and started a dozen times, and especially if you forced yourself to write without inspiration, there’s a good chance you wrote the middle before you really had the book figured out yet.

That’s okay! Now is your chance to re-imagine the middle so that it’s stronger, tighter, and leads steadily towards the climax.

Eating, Drinking, Smoking, and Other Time Wasters

Of course it’s possible to write scenes with eating, drinking, and smoking that are riveting, exciting, awesome scenes. I’m not attempting to deny that possibility. But this is also one of the biggest signs that a middle is sagging.

The thing is, when we’ve got characters we don’t know what to do with, it’s pretty dang easy to just set them at a dinner table and let them info dump — I mean, talk — to each other. When you get to the editing stage, as the author, you might find delight in reading the humorous or dramatic conversations of your beloved characters.

But let’s get real for a second. If you’ve written more than one or two scenes in the middle of your novel in which your characters are eating, drinking, smoking, playing a board game, or doing something otherwise not qualifying as a plot point, there’s a mega-huge chance you’ve got a saggy middle.

The number one sign that time wasting is an issue: when you were writing the novel, did you struggle to come up with scenes to include in order to break up the scenes of eating, drinking, smoking, or sitting around talking?

Reoccurring Conflicts

Sometimes authors respond to an uninspired middle by falling back on their conflict of choice. This results in a novel that reuses the same conflict a number of times. If there’s a fire in chapter four, eight, fifteen, and twenty-four, you might want to ask yourself whether this reoccurring conflict is building tension or zapping it.

The key to using the same conflict multiple times is that each time you must up the ante. If the first fire is a tipped over candle, the next one needs to be an out of control bonfire.

Reoccurring conflicts also work much better when there is a reason they keep reoccurring. If your character just happens to get hit by a stray bullet on three occasions, readers are going to find the novel a bit contrived.

Interpersonal Drama

Some novels are entirely about interpersonal drama because of their genre, and that is totally okay. But for all those other novels (science fiction, fantasy, horror, etc.), scenes of interpersonal drama could probably do with some pruning. “But it’s character development!” you shout, clutching the pages to your chest.

But, in fact, that can be exactly why it’s a problem. Character development outside the context of a scene that moves the plot forward can contribute heavily to a saggy middle. This is common in writers who really love their characters and have more ideas about how the characters interact than they do about the plot.

Good interpersonal drama will create some sort of barrier or obstacle in the path of the character’s goal. Interpersonal drama that doesn’t do this and is included just for the sake of propping up a saggy middle, is likely to make the sagging worse.

Often this interpersonal drama is super easily solved by the characters and never really gets in the way of anything. Or it doesn’t make much sense in the first place and feels strained or forced.

My last point on this is that if you’re writing a novel that was set up to be a about something speculative (science fiction, horror, fantasy, etc.) and the middle is dominated by interpersonal drama, there’s a good chance you need to go back to the plotting drawing board.

Scenes Without Conflict

I know I’ve talked about this before, but I think it’s important to note it here as well. Scenes without conflict will bring your middle down like dropping a sack of potatoes onto a hammock.

Conflict is what keeps the reader reading. If it also moves the plot forward, then there is no way for your middle to sag. Keep in mind that the quality of a conflict can be tested by determining whether or not it is so necessary to tell the story that there would be no way to remove the conflict and still end up with the plot line intact.

Conflicts should cause something to change: plans, emotions, allies. And this change should affect the novel’s outcome in a way that is significant enough for the reader to identify.

Most writers will include 2-10 scenes in the middle of the novel that do not have sufficient conflict. The faster these scenes are cut, the faster the writer will begin to see where the novel is falling short and needs improvement. This is where being in love with your scenes can be a huge detriment to your writing.

Homework: Assess the Strength of Your Middle

This is a very effective exercise at weeding out the scenes in the middle of your novel that are causing the novel to sag, stagnate, or lose momentum.

Get your word processor’s highlighter ready by changing the color to black. You will use this highlighter to black out scenes without losing them. This gives yourself mental permission to play around with making cuts to your novel without those cuts feeling permanent or scary.

Now let’s get started! Work your way through each scene of your novel by asking yourself the following:

Is there a conflict in this scene? If not, black it out.

Is the conflict in this scene self-contained (meaning that it could be removed without affecting the plot)? If so, black it out. Note that self-contained conflicts might be okay in some situations, such as when they put pressure on a character or provide emotional growth. That said, experimenting with removing it should let you see more clearly whether it’s really needed.

Is this scene mostly eating, drinking, smoking, or conversation? Does the conversation push the plot forward (meaning that the information in the conversation prompts a development in the plot: a new goal, relationship, or necessary change in emotion. Info dumps don’t count!)? If not, black it out.

Would cutting this scene allow you to move more quickly toward the next plot point without a loss in clarity? If so, black it out. If not, is there a relatively small amount of information that could be moved to another scene in order to allow you to remove this one? If so, black out everything except that core piece of the scene.

Once you’ve blacked out all the unnecessary scenes in your middle, you will be left with the “core” of your story. You might want to put the document away for a day or two if you’re tired and can’t look at things objectively. When you’re ready, read through your new middle and see what you think. Is it stronger, tighter, more exciting, and easier to read?

Letting Go of Scenes You Love

Cutting out scenes you love or worked hard on can be tough. Because of how depressing and frustrating editing can be, especially if you have multiple scenes or a huge chunk of your middle that needs removing, it’s easy to become resistant to making changes. It’s also easy to be in denial.

The only thing I can say to help in this situation is to think about your goals. If you want to get published, making these cuts can be liberating. They can pull you a giant step closer to figuring out what’s wrong with your novel so that you can emphasize what’s right about it.

There is a lot of work in editing. But it will save you a lot more time in the long run than writing novel after novel that is shopped around with a saggy middle and no success.

Always remember that you are trying to tell the best story you can tell. Sometimes that means ripping out half of it and starting again. You will get through it. Your novel will get through it. All you have to do is not give up.

Connect with Other Novel Boot Camp Participants

Need a writing friend? Got a question? Need a shoulder to cry on? We’re there for you!

What is Novel Boot Camp?

Novel Boot Camp is a free online novel writing course focused on identifying and correcting problems in your novel. Learn more about Novel Boot Camp and find past (and future) posts here.

Novel Boot Camp – Workshop #3: Help Me, Help Me!

July 14, 2014151 Comments

Welcome to week three Boot Campers! It’s hump week, and we’re going to blaze over the hump with determination! (Even if our manuscripts are a little bloody by now.)

I asked participants what the workshop for this week should be and got tons of suggestions. After a lot of thought (and coffee), I decided to go with something that allowed a bit more self-direction, so that each individual can get the sort of help they need.

So without further ado, I unveil to you workshop #3:

Help Me, Help Me!

Got a question about your manuscript? A tricky scene you’re trying to write? Not sure if you’re implementing what you’ve learned correctly? Come on down and ask for help!

The Rules (follow them or else!):

Each participant may post two requests for help. No more than that!

Requests for help may include up to 250 words from your manuscript.

Requests for help do not have to include an excerpt from your manuscript if not relevant or helpful.

The total word count of the post must be under 350 words (this allows people to get to everyone rather than getting stuck on one really long post).

Questions must be directly related to your own manuscript. No general writing, editing, or publishing questions. Most of these can be answered with a simple Google search or by reading other articles on the site.

Please no query letters. We will be having a query letter critique the last week of the course.

Post Ideas:

Which version of this do you like more? (Include both examples.)

What genre is my novel? (Include a brief summary.)

Am I successfully avoiding an info dump here? (Include an excerpt.)

Does this dialogue sound natural? (Include an excerpt.)

Does my villain seem cliché? (Include a description or excerpt.)

Is this a strong description or is it too long? (Include an excerpt.)

Any other questions that are specifically related to your novel.

I hope this workshop allows participants to get the tailored help they need.

Please don’t forget to comment on other Boot Campers’ questions. A helpful camper is a happy camper!

Connect with Other Novel Boot Camp Participants

Need a writing friend? Got a question? Need a shoulder to cry on? We’re there for you!

What is Novel Boot Camp?

Novel Boot Camp is a free online novel writing course focused on identifying and correcting problems in your novel. Learn more about Novel Boot Camp and find past (and future) posts here.

Novel Boot Camp – Lecture #8: Writing Believable Antagonists

July 11, 2014July 11, 20146 Comments

Antagonists are great! They’re evil, quirky, strange people who do things that we normal people would never dream of doing. Unfortunately, antagonists are often not given enough character development to truly be able to shine.

So today we’re going to talk about how to improve your antagonist and the role he or she plays in your novel. I know that I’ve touched on the antagonist a few times already, but I wanted to give this important character the space he deserves in this course.

Note that not all novels have a human (or sentient) antagonist. If your book doesn’t have one, don’t fret! It’s not a requirement. Though most books have at least some human element to their antagonistic force, so you may still pick up some helpful hints.

Avoid Bad for Bad’s Sake

The most common mistake when writing an antagonist is creating a character who is bad just for the sake of being bad. He loves to rub his hands together and laugh maniacally and think about drowning puppies and stealing candy from babies.

This type of person does not exist in reality. Even serial killers, rapists, and mass murderers are rarely (if ever) described as all-around bad people. Even most crappy horror movies give the antagonist at least some sort of motivation.

People are bad for a reason. They have a motivation to do the evil things they do, which leads us to:

Antagonists Must Have Tangible Goals

The antagonist, just like the protagonist, has something that he or she wants to achieve. They have a goal. This goal needs to be tangible, identifiable. If the reader doesn’t know what the goal is right away, they at least need to get the impression that there is one.

The goal also needs to make sense!

Taking over the world and murdering everyone is a mostly illogical goal. What would someone do with a world full of dead people? Yet taking over the world could be turned into a realistic goal if it would allow the antagonist to solve some personal issue, such as needing the government’s secret technology in order to build a time machine to go back in time to save his sister.

Yes, even antagonists need to have a goal that is personal. Achieving their goal must relieve some source of pain or hardship in their lives. Without that, their goals will seem laughable.

Note that their source of pain or hardship could be entirely based on their own perception. It doesn’t have to make sense to normal people. However I would avoid using “insanity” as a cop out for the antagonist’s behavior.

Antagonists Believe They Are Right

Just like the protagonist believes they are right, the antagonist believes that they are right too. This is a very important fact that can be easy to lose sight of. Many amateur novels have an antagonist who practically walks around going, “Oh gee do I love being evil!”

This is not how people think. When people do bad things, they believe that (for some reason) the behavior is justified.

For example, an abusive parent isn’t abusing their kid because they just like being evil. Most individuals who act aggressively towards anyone (friend, family, or foe) are able to justify it: “He deserved it!” “He was asking for it!” “My dad beat me and I turned out okay!” “It builds characters!”

Some antagonists may even believe that what they are doing is actively good. For example, cleansing the world of a certain type of person, teaching someone “bad” a lesson, or righting some sort of wrong for which they were the victim.

The most important thing to remember is that if an antagonist doesn’t believe what they’re doing is right (in whatever twisted, messed up way), you’re going to have a tough time making them seem realistic to the reader.

Antagonists Are Defeated by Their Flaws

For a truly satisfying climax, the antagonist should lose because of a character flaw. Just like with protagonists, this flaw could take an infinite number of forms. Antagonists could be overly arrogant and make careless mistakes that get them caught. They could underestimate the protagonist and end up getting defeated in a way they never imagined. They could get so wrapped up in their ritualistic behavior that they don’t clear out of a crime scene in time. Or they could have difficulty controlling their anger to the point that they snap in public.

Whatever their flaw, it should be made as apparent as possible prior to the climax. This will ensure that when they are defeated, it seems logical, possible, and not like an easy way to simply let the protagonist win.

Cut the Bumbling Henchmen

Unless you’re taking the idea in a wildly new direction, I suggest avoiding giving your antagonist bumbling henchmen. Sure their sidekicks aren’t going to be as smart or as powerful as they are, but they shouldn’t be complete and utter baffoons.

In general, somebody else’s blatant stupidity does not make for a very interesting way of defeating them.

All characters of any significance (and henchmen certainly qualify if they become an obstacle for the protagonist) should undergo enough character development to not have to fall back on being stupid in order to fail.

What About Monsters?

If monsters are sentient enough to have a tangible goal, then they should have one. If they can talk, then they definitely need to have one.

The goal could be eating the protagonist or stealing their soul or appeasing the demon fleas infested in their fur, but they need to have some reason to be evil (just like the human antagonists).

Homework: Believable Antagonist Worksheet

To get you really thinking about how to improve your antagonist, I’ve created a worksheet of questions that will challenge you to think of your antagonist in a different way. You could easily write hundreds of words for each question if you properly develop your antagonist. So sit down in a nice quiet spot and get working!

The questions:

What is your antagonist’s goal? What is he or she trying to achieve?

Why does your antagonist feel that his goal is justified?

Does he ever not feel that the goal is justified? Does he ever feel guilty or remorseful? If so, what prompts him to continue pursuing his goal?

If the antagonist could snap his fingers and make the world exactly as he wants it, what would that world be like?

If your antagonist could travel back in time and change something about his past, what would it be? (Don’t say “nothing.” That’s a cop out and you know it!)

What is your antagonist’s flaw and how will it ultimately cause him to be defeated?

What is your antagonist’s relationship like with his henchmen/sidekick/etc.?

What does your antagonist like to do for fun? (Don’t say “kill people” or “make the protagonist suffer.” Really think about the question. Everyone has non-evil things they enjoy.)

What are some positive traits of your antagonist? Is he a great listener? Did she raise happy, healthy children? Did the wolfman once save someone’s life?

If you answer these questions before editing or rewriting your novel, you will be able to spot areas that are lacking in depth and create a more complex and interesting antagonist.

Connect with Other Novel Boot Camp Participants

Need a writing friend? Got a question? Need a shoulder to cry on? We’re there for you!

What is Novel Boot Camp?

Novel Boot Camp is a free online novel writing course focused on identifying and correcting problems in your novel. Learn more about Novel Boot Camp and find past (and future) posts here.

Novel Boot Camp – Lecture #7: Be Ruthless

July 10, 2014July 10, 201410 Comments

Writers love their characters. I mean, they really really love their characters! Some of them daydream about their characters throughout the day. Others hear their characters talking in their heads. And most authors say that they put at least some tiny piece of themselves in every character.

So because writers love their characters so much (and may even view them as an extension of themselves), sometimes they’re a little too nice to them.

I mean, when you love someone, you want to see them happy. You want their lives to turn out beautiful, all wrapped up with a nice tidy bow.

But this is not what novels are about. Nobody wants to read about a life sprinkled with rose petals. In order to write a great novel, you must be willing to beat the crap out of your characters. You have to give them hell. Throw them through the wringer and meet them with a sledgehammer at the other side.

You have to be ruthless.

Here’s how:

Write What You’re Afraid to Write

We’ve all had good and bad experiences that shape who we are. These experiences can cause us to shy away from certain subjects – either because they are so frighteningly foreign or so terrifyingly familiar.

These things can be big or small, serious or light. They are things so far from our plotting radar they don’t even enter our minds as we write, or they might be things we think of but dismiss. “I could never write about that!”

They could be things we’re afraid of: needles, the dark, spiders, clowns, freak accidents.

Or they could be things that just seem too harsh or unfair: the death of a loved one, abuse, divorce, infidelity, a terminal disease.

These things are scary, especially when they’re happening to our character (who, admittedly, as at least a little bit like us). Writing these scary elements or events into our novel can hit a bit too close to home. It can make us uncomfortable. But it can also make for an interesting and complex conflict.

Sometimes our plot needs something that’s hard for us to write. Consider the topics you’re consciously or subconsciously avoiding. Not only are they emotionally charged, but the terror that you feel about them can translate into tense and emotional writing.

Hurt Your Protagonist’s Heart

We’re all pretty nice people who don’t like to trample on anyone’s feelings. But this can make us really bad plotters when we want to coddle and protect our characters from broken hearts. And I don’t mean in a purely romantic sense. Broken hearts can come from all sorts of experiences and relationships.

The very best novels trample all over the hearts of their protagonists. They don’t pull any punches. They don’t wrap their protagonist in a cuddly blanket and push a mug of hot cocoa in their hands. They let the terrible things in the world rip them to shreds.

Never be afraid of breaking your protagonist’s heart. Let them taste their goals and then smash their dreams. Don’t worry, you can always build them back up later.

If you don’t let them go to those dark places, at least for a while, there’s no satisfaction for the reader.

The novel is your character’s journey. Give them a wild ride, not a pleasant trot across flat terrain.

Avoid the Impenetrable Protagonist

For those writing novels with a lot of physical challenges – natural disaster, hard labor, fighting, etc. – don’t shield your protagonist from injury. There’s nothing quite as artificial as a protagonist who runs barefoot through the woods getting chased by a murderer in the hot August sun, yet gets nary a scratch.

Do not wrap your protagonist in bubble wrap! They’re human beings, not androids. If you throw them into a pit, their legs should break. If someone punches them, they should get a black eye.

Overly protecting a protagonist is especially apparent when other characters do get injured. If your protagonist makes it out of every scuffle without so much as a bug bite while everyone else is holding their guts inside their slashed stomach’s, readers are going to call your bluff.

And besides, even if it does come off okay that your character doesn’t get injured, you’re still reducing the obstacles in their path. Make them bleed! Break their bones! Your readers will love it.

Give Your Antagonist the Advantage

In a fight between a little girl and a sumo wrestler, it’s obvious whose going to win. If the little girl is your protagonist, awesome! If she’s the antagonist, suddenly she’s super-duper lame.

To create a satisfying battle (whether it’s physical, mental, or emotional) between your protagonist and your antagonist, the antagonist must (at least) be an equal match to the protagonist. Ideally, the antagonist should be the stronger, faster, smarter, savvier of the two. Yes, he/she will have a weakness that the protagonist uses to beat them, but in all other areas, they should be equal to or superior to your protagonist.

One way of going easy on your precious characters is to put an antagonistic force in their path that is easy-peasy to defeat. No! Don’t do this! The reader should believe that defeating the antagonist is impossible. If you match your sumo wrestler protagonist with a little girl antagonist (unless she’s evil, possessed, or an android), the battle is going to feel bland, boring, and totally unsatisfying.

Make Your Antagonist Act

Sometimes we get our protagonists into sticky situations where the antagonist clearly has the advantage. For example, the protagonist is tied up, handcuffed, locked in a jail cell, cornered, or battling without a weapon.

Those writers who are being too easy on their characters will often end up with the antagonist in this scene doing nothing! He will circle around the character, say some mean things, maybe swing his weapon around a bit, but will ultimately be foiled because he fails to actually ever do anything.

Don’t let your protagonist win just because the antagonist is an idiot. This might give you an opportunity to avoid hurting your precious main character, but the reader will call you out on it. “Why didn’t the bad guy just stab him? He was right there!”

We’ll be talking about antagonists more soon (*cough* tomorrow). But I want you to get started thinking about the role of the antagonist in putting your character through the wringer.

Homework: Give Your Character Hell

The homework has been a lot more challenging this week, so I wanted to give you a tiny break with something not quite so hard.

Ask yourself the following questions:

What is the worst thing that could happen to my character emotionally? Have you delivered it? Could you edit the novel to add it in? If not, could you add a tamed down version of it in?

Are there any scenes where the character should have been injured but wasn’t? Could you add an injury? Even a minor one?

Overall, are the obstacles in your character’s path a bit too easy? Do they create a legitimate challenge and carry a reasonable amount of risk (emotionally or physically)?

Is the antagonist as strong or stronger than the main character? Do their encounters/battles legitimately challenge the protagonist?

Connect with Other Novel Boot Camp Participants

Need a writing friend? Got a question? Need a shoulder to cry on? We’re there for you!

What is Novel Boot Camp?

Novel Boot Camp is a free online novel writing course focused on identifying and correcting problems in your novel. Learn more about Novel Boot Camp and find past (and future) posts here.

Novel Boot Camp – Lecture #6: Internal and External Obstacles

July 9, 20149 Comments

Yesterday we talked about the first piece of creating conflict – character motivation. Today I want to talk about the second piece – obstacles.

Obstacles are anything that gets in the way of the character’s goals. Obstacles come in all shapes and sizes. Think back to your high school English class when you learned about man vs. man, man vs. nature, man vs. self, and all that jazz. Obstacles can be anything!

The Internal Obstacle

External obstacles are much easier to get right. You throw an antagonist or a tornado or a ticking time bomb at your protagonist and he scrambles around to try to best it. Internal obstacles, on the other hand, are easy to overlook.

Every main character should have an internal obstacle — something within themselves that stands in the way of achieving what they want. This usually takes the form of an unfortunate character trait, such as being overly fearful, jealous, arrogant, selfish, etc.

This internal obstacle is (usually) not nearly as apparent in the novel as the external obstacles, but creates an extra level of depth. Consider Indiana Jones’ fear of snakes. It doesn’t hold him back in every scene, but it creates exciting and complex tension when it does.

The Beauty of Multiple Obstacles

Unlike multiple motivations, which can clutter the novel and confuse readers, multiple obstacles make for a more interesting and exciting novel. What’s more intense than two ghosts? Three ghosts! What’s more intense than a sword-wielding skeleton? A majorly huge giant right behind him!

Stacking obstacles until your character is in a situation that seems impossible to escape is an excellent way to keep readers hooked.

But it is possible for obstacles to be too big:

Watch Your Scale

In a movie, an epic battle between hordes of alligator-people can be super intense, visually striking, and so terrifying you bite your fingernails. But it doesn’t work the same way in novels.

Books aren’t visual, so the more soldiers, bad guys, or monsters you throw into the scene, the harder it is for the reader to relate to or keep track of any individual one. There is also a point where, as humans, we can no longer process the scope of an event on an emotional level because there is no intimacy. If I tell you that a thousand people were murdered, it won’t have near the impact of drawing you into a death scene for a single girl.

Obstacles in books work much the same way. A bad guy blocking each of the exits will often be a much more intense obstacle than a battlefield full of villains. Once you’ve lost the intimacy of an obstacle, tension is reduced.

If huge epic battles are an obstacle in your novel that cannot be removed, make sure to focus tightly on the main characters during the scene. Don’t rely on sweeping descriptions of the antagonists, but focus in on a few key baddies. And don’t forget to describe emotions!

Obstacles Should Increase in Severity

I talked about this a little bit during the First Page Promise lecture: you do not want to put your most intense obstacle at the beginning of the book. The obstacles your character has to face should increase in intensity and severity over time.

If they fight a twenty-foot space alien in chapter one, then a dust bunny monster in chapter thirty, the dusty bunny monster will seem so tiny and insignificant in comparison that the reader will struggle to feel any sense of tension.

A great way to increase the severity of obstacles is to increase the number of obstacles the character has to face at one time as you approach the novel’s climax.

The Best Obstacles Challenge the Character

Of course, all obstacles challenge the character, but I’m talking about the sort of obstacles that challenge the character on a personal, internal level.

Let’s say your character is deathly afraid of the dark. Use this fear against your character by placing his small child in a pitch black room with a giant monster. Suddenly your character has to face a fear in order to save his child. That’s a lot of complexity and depth for what could be a mediocre scene.

Here’s another example: Your character’s child is being held hostage. The only way to save the child is to shoot the captor, but your character doesn’t believe in murder under any circumstances.

A scene like the ones above will have the reader on the edge of their seat. What’s he going to do? How can he overcome this obstacle despite being scared or against murder? You can practically feel the terror in the character’s heart.

Obstacles that feed off of your character’s darkest issues will be the most captivating.

An Obstacle Should Exist in Every Scene

Just like with character motivation, an obstacle should be present in every scene. Without an obstacle, there is no conflict, and without a conflict, there is no reason for the reader to keep reading.

Note that obstacles do not have to be huge in every scene. They don’t even have to be huge in the novel as a whole. They just need to oppose what the character wants (his motivation), and they need to increase in intensity over time.

The most riveting novels will introduce a new obstacle before or immediately following the elimination of the previous obstacle. You do not want your character wandering around with no obstacles for long periods of time. This can cause the novel to stagnate.

Obstacles are Only Obstacles if the Character Cares

An obstacle must get in the way of a character’s goals. If it doesn’t work against their motivation, or if the character really doesn’t care all that much about it, then it is not a true obstacle.

Obstacles can’t be created by having a character temporarily care about something they ordinarily wouldn’t care about (this goes back to character motivation and how the plot should not dictate it).

If the character has never had an issue with their mother bossing them around and then suddenly (with no explanation/change) views their mother as an obstacle in the way of their independence, their mother will not come across as a legitimate obstacle. The reader will ask, “Who cares? It was never an issue any of the other times!”

For something that was not an obstacle to suddenly become an obstacle, something must first change in the character internally (such as a decision to no longer tolerate their mother’s bossiness).

If you’re struggling to come up with obstacles that truly stand in your character’s way, ask yourself: what is the worst thing that could happen to this character? Chances are you will initially come up with things that are too extreme, but scale it back further and further until you’ve got an obstacle of a reasonable size for the point in the story you’re working on.

Homework: Improving Your Novel’s Obstacles

This is another big homework assignment that might be too extensive for most participants to accomplish over the course of boot camp. Just get started and do as much as you can.

Go through each scene (not chapter) of your novel, and ask yourself the following:

Does this scene have an obstacle? If not, you must choose whether to add one in or delete the scene. (Remember that scenes should only be kept if they advance the plot.)

Could this obstacle be made more intense? If your character is thirsty, why not also make it hot outside? Oh, and they’re also running. And a lion is chasing them! And they’re wearing a parka!

Could this obstacle create conflicting feelings in the character by preying off of their darkest issues? Note, you do not want this to be present in every scene or it could grow tedious. Putting something like this around the climax is a great idea (it facilitates the character arc, which we’ll talk about later).

Is the obstacle truly an obstacle? Does the character actually oppose it in some way? If the obstacle gets in the way of an intangible character motivation (independence, acceptance, being loved), was this motivation clearly articulated earlier in the novel?

Now consider your novel as a whole (an outline would be helpful for this but isn’t required):

Do the obstacles get more intense over time? If not, you’ve likely got some restructuring to do.

Is the obstacle at the climax the most intense of the entire novel? If not, consider making the obstacle personally challenging for your character to add extra oomph to the scene.

Connect with Other Novel Boot Camp Participants

Need a writing friend? Got a question? Need a shoulder to cry on? We’re there for you!

What is Novel Boot Camp?

Novel Boot Camp is a free online novel writing course focused on identifying and correcting problems in your novel. Learn more about Novel Boot Camp and find past (and future) posts here.

Novel Boot Camp – Lecture #5: Character Motivation

July 8, 20147 Comments

We all have motivations – the things that make us do what we do. But it’s not entirely uncommon (okay, it’s really common) for writers to not put enough thought into their characters’ motivations.

After all, motivation is easy right? Bad guys are motivated by evil. Good guys are motivated by good. Easy peasy.

Not so fast! Motivation is a vital component of a successful novel. Weak motivation can not only reduce the effectiveness of your story, it can completely ruin it!

Plot-Dictated Motivation

The plot dictating the characters’ motivations is one of the worst things that can happen to your novel. You can write the most interesting twists and turns with a premise that has “bestseller” written all over it, but if the characters’ actions aren’t authentic, it will fall completely and horribly flat.

A lot of people believe that authentic actions come from well developed characters, but character development isn’t nearly as important as authentic motivation.

Suzie running into the lion’s den makes for a fascinating scene! But if the reader doesn’t believe running into the lion’s den is something Suzie is sufficiently motivated to do, it’s worse than if she had decided to stay home.

If your character makes a decision because that is the decision that moves the plot in the direction you want it to go, you may very well end up with a problem.

Writing a plot outline is great for a lot of writers, but if your character is standing with her arms crossed, shaking her head, saying “I will not do that!” – don’t make her!

Too Much Motivation

Too much motivation could also be called “wish-washy motivation” because often the motivations appear and disappear throughout the novel whenever is convenient. This happens when writers aren’t quite sure how to justify what the characters are doing so they stuff a bunch of explanations into the novel.

I should rob this store because they ripped me off. Plus this is the store that Billy the bully shops at! Plus it’s Tuesday and I always like to wreak havoc on Tuesdays. And also they sold me a moldy banana last year.

I am not saying that your character cannot have multiple motivations. Sometimes this does occur and works well (so long as it feels authentic). But if your character constantly cites multiple reasons for their behavior (especially if their motivation flip-flops throughout scenes without a reason for the change), you could create a weakening effect where all of the motivations seem inauthentic.

Too Little Motivation

Some books (such as humor and MG) can get away with teeny-tiny helpings of motivation. But the majority of genres need a great big heap to keep the novel moving. Not multiple motivations necessarily, but strong ones.

In general, the motivation should reflect the severity of the conflict. Your character cannot murder someone because they’re motivated by wanting a ham sandwich. They can’t run away from home because Mom wouldn’t let them watch cartoons.

There are certain motivations that might seem big to the writer, but don’t feel big to the reader, such as a character being motivated by a sense of right and wrong. This leads us into the next topic:

Motivation Must Be Personal

The character’s motivation must be personal, meaning that there needs to be a reason why they are willing to fight the novel’s antagonistic force. A sense of right and wrong is not a strong enough motivator. This motivation could be shared by hundreds of other people who could solve the conflict instead. It doesn’t provide a reason why the main character has to be the protagonist.

A character motivated by a strong sense of right and wrong could be seeking revenge for the murder of his family or saving a loved one from being kidnapped. Suddenly a pretty average motivation has been turned into something highly personal.

Adding a personal motivator into the mix makes the character’s actions easier to identify with. Without one, it’s easy for readers to find the character’s decisions unbelievable. This is what you experience often in poorly written horror movies. “Why would you go in there? You have no reason to go in there! OMG the monster is in there, you idiot!”

If you look for a personal motivator in published novels, you will find that the motivator is usually to “fit in,” save a loved one, or defeat a force that only that character can defeat.

Not Dying as a Motivator

Not wanting to die is usually not a sufficient motivator on its own. Not because not dying isn’t motivating, but because everybody wants to not die. “What is that book about?” “Well, the main character doesn’t want to die.”

Not dying should be coupled with another, more personal and dynamic motivator (see above), such as wanting to solve a mystery or wanting to save a loved one or wanting to live long enough to enter a pie-eating contest.

Motivation Should be Present on Every Page

There should not be a page in your novel where your character has no motivation. From page 1 to page 300, something should always be driving their behavior.

A page without motivation is dull, and a scene without motivation is meandering. If you’ve ever read a novel that felt like it wasn’t going anywhere, there’s a good chance it was because the characters’ motivations were not clearly identified and articulated.

Motivation is About Goals

Some writers can fall into the trap of giving characters motivations that are not tangible. Something like “wanting to fit in” is a great motivator, but what does that mean for the character? For some people, fitting in might mean making it onto a sports team while for others it would mean finding a long-term partner.

Clearly identify the goal behind your character’s motivations. And by clearly, I mean that there should be no question whatsoever in the reader’s mind as to what the character is trying to achieve.

Introduce New Motivations Before Eliminating Old Ones

Depending on your individual story, your character may have a variety of motivations that change over time. This is perfectly fine, but be sure to introduce new motivations before completely eliminating old ones.

More than a sentence or two in which a character has no motivation will make the reader begin to feel lost and bored. Readers keep reading because they are eager to see if the character achieves their goal. If there is no goal, there is no motivation to keep reading.

Bad Guys are Motivated Too

The antagonist’s motivations are often overlooked. Since they’re not the main character it’s easy to minimize the importance of how they feel. But keep in mind that for many novels, the entire story hinges on the motivation of the antagonist.

Why does the antagonist oppose the protagonist? Why do they want what they want?

Being evil for evil’s sake rarely works. We’re not writing cartoon villains. They need to want something tangible. They need to have a goal.

For more information, check out my video on How to Write a Great Antagonist.

Homework: Solidifying Character Motivations

This is a big homework assignment so hold onto your big girl/boy panties. For those without an outline to use for assistance, this will take even longer. If you can’t finish this during Novel Boot Camp, don’t fret. Just keep working at it whenever you can.

Look at each scene (not chapter) in your novel and ask yourself the following questions of every significant character in the scene:

What motivates this character? If they have no motivation, find a way to add one or eliminate the scene.

What is this character’s goal? Has it been clearly identified? Could a reader explain it to you without you first explaining it to them? If not, make the goal clearer.

Is this character’s motivation authentic? Does it truly feel like it’s coming from the character or was it dictated by where you wanted the plot to go? If the plot dictates the motivation, listen to your character instead (even if it means losing a really cool scene).

Note that there are times when a character’s motivation is kept secret. So long as this is not your protagonist, secret motivations are fine, but make sure it’s clear that a motivation does exist even if the reader doesn’t know what it is yet.

When to Add Motivation vs. When to Cut a Scene

If you run into scenes without character motivation, you will have to choose whether you want to cut the scene or add in a motivation. This decision should come down to whether or not the scene is advancing the plot. If it is, brainstorm ways to either add a character motivation or find a way to move the necessary information in the scene to a different scene that does have a clear character motivation.

If the scene doesn’t move the plot forward (or if it’s mostly just info dumping), you will need to come up with a way to restructure your story to eliminate the scene.

Connect with Other Novel Boot Camp Participants

Need a writing friend? Got a question? Need a shoulder to cry on? We’re there for you!

What is Novel Boot Camp?

Novel Boot Camp is a free online novel writing course focused on identifying and correcting problems in your novel. Learn more about Novel Boot Camp and find past (and future) posts here.

Novel Boot Camp – Workshop #2: First Page Critique

July 7, 20141,062 Comments

Welcome to week two of Novel Boot Camp! Week one was a wild ride and a fantastic success. Thanks so much to everyone who participated, shared the posts, made donations, and helped out your fellow writers on Twitter and in the Facebook group. Novel Boot Camp would be nothing without you!

This post was originally going to contain the results for workshop #1 (I can hear you all laughing at my optimism), but participation was higher than I expected. There were 115 novel openings posted (that’s about 23,000 words!) and over 1,000 guesses!

So, needless to say, I have not had time to calculate the winners. It may take until after Novel Boot Camp for the results to be posted. Thanks for your patience!

Because participation was higher than expected, this week’s workshop will not have a winner that requires judging (or else I might go insane). I know this isn’t quite as much fun, but take solace in knowing that the more openings you critique, the higher your chance of winning!

How to Critique Other Writers

Before we launch into the rules of the critique, I want to give a brief mini-lecture on how to be a good novel critiquer. Here are some things to keep in mind:

Don’t be mean, hostile, aggressive, or cruel. There’s no reason to put people down or embarrass them for their mistakes. Be kind in pointing out issues. Remember that this may be the internet, but the people posting are real writers with real feelings.

Be honest. Don’t say you like something just because you like the writer or because you want to be supportive. You can be encouraging and still tell the truth.

Reciprocate! Don’t ask for critiques with no intention of providing a critique of your own. This isn’t fair to the writers who take time out to help you.

Be approachable. This isn’t the time or place to use fancy literary terms or to act uppity or pretentious. The goal is to help the other writer, not sound smarter or more accomplished.

Admit what you don’t know. Avoid giving advice or making recommendations when you aren’t sure whether something is right or wrong. If you aren’t sure, say so. Wrong advice can often we worse than no advice.

Focus on Feelings. How you feel about an opening, character, word choice, sentence structure, etc. is very valuable to the writer. A statement like, “I didn’t feel sucked in, and the main character seemed a bit mean.” is often more constructive than a statement like, “I wouldn’t start my novel at this point, and the main character shouldn’t smack the dog.”

The Value of Critiquing

When writers email me asking how to improve their writing, I always tell them to start critiquing! Nothing is as useful at opening up a writer’s eyes to issues and mistakes in their own manuscript as seeing those same issues in someone else’s work.

Make sure to read some other writer’s critiques as well. This can teach you to recognize issues you didn’t even know existed.

Workshop #2: First Page Critique

July 7 – 13

How to Submit Your Novel Opening

*Please read all of the rules before posting.*

Writers will be posting their own submissions this week. You do not need to email me or fill out a form. You may post under your real name or anonymously, but keep in mind that you cannot win if you do not have a username that I can use to identify and contact you.

Your submission should be posted in the comments section below and should include nothing but your genre and the first 250 words. Do not begin or end your post (or reply to your own post) with any additional information. The goal is to get unbiased, authentic critiques.

Example post:

GENRE: YA Science Fiction

She looked at me with fear in her eyes and a laser-gun in her hands….. (stop at 250 words).

Each writer may post up to two openings. Please only post two if you are truly working on two novels at once. Don’t dig into the bowels of your hard drive just to come up with a second opening. In other words, don’t waste your fellow Boot Campers’ time with an opening you’re not serious about.

A note about the submission length: I increased the length from 200 words to 250 words due to a number of complaints about the word count restriction. Only allowing 200 words was an attempt at keeping the contest more manageable. I am allowing Novel Boot Campers to post up to 250 words this week under the condition that posts not exceed that length. Last week a bunch of you tried to pull the wool over my eyes and submitted 300, 400, and even 600 words. Last week I hacked off the extra words, but this week I will not be doing that. If you post more than 250 words, I will delete your submission without explanation.

What to Do After Receiving a Critique

You are welcome to reply to critiques on your work to thank the critiquer or to seek clarification.

Please do not post updated versions of your novel opening. This will prevent any individual writer from dominating the workshop. Asking for subsequent critiques is also asking a lot from your fellow writers who already took time to help you out.

Absolutely do not, under any circumstances, reply to a critique in an aggressive, insulting, or demeaning manor. It’s okay to disagree, but please do so respectfully.

I want this to be a positive and empowering experience for the Novel Boot Campers! If I feel that someone is disrupting that experience, I reserve the right to remove their posts and/or ban them as necessary.

How to Leave a Critique

Please post your critiques as a reply to the novel opening, not as a general reply in the comments section.

Please do not post one sentence critiques, such as, “I liked it.” Why did you like it? Be specific.

Do not mention your writing “status.” For example, do not mention that you’re a published author, an editor, a bestseller, an award-winner, etc. I do not have time to validate these statements and do not want writers being misled into believing they are being given professional advice.

Prize – Free 1,000 Word Critique!

Due to the volume of participants, it is unlikely that I will be able to select a winner based entirely on merit. Unless there is one critiquer who really stands out from the rest, the winner will be selected randomly.

That said, I will check through the posts of the random winner to ensure that they participated to the best of their ability. This means that the winner must have made a minimum of 5 critiques, all of which must be 3 sentences or longer in length.

My Participation

I will be offering critiques as I am willing and able. I’m editing novels 50 hours per week (not including the time spent on Novel Boot Camp) so it is unlikely that I will be able to offer critiques for most writers. 😦

Please do not take it personally! The ones I comment on will be more or less random.

And who knows? Novel Boot Camp will be over someday and maybe I’ll have time then to offer some critiques.

Connect with Other Novel Boot Camp Participants

Need a writing friend? Got a question? Need a shoulder to cry on? We’re there for you!

What is Novel Boot Camp?

Novel Boot Camp is a free online novel writing course focused on identifying and correcting problems in your novel. Learn more about Novel Boot Camp and find past (and future) posts here.

Novel Boot Camp – Lecture #4: Writing Believable Dialogue

July 4, 201412 Comments

Readers love dialogue. Why? Because it breaks up the monotony of big ol’ chunks of text. Personally, when I see pages and pages of sprawling paragraphs, it gives me flashbacks of reading horrible college textbooks.

But dialogue is fun! When we read it our eyes zip across the text. And everyone knows about that tiny bit of (huge) satisfaction readers get from turning pages. Dialogue gets you to the page turn so much faster!

“But isn’t dialogue about other, more important things, like character development?” – says everyone reading this blog.

Okay, okay, okay. In all seriousness, there are lots of great things about dialogue, but it’s easy to lose all of those great things if your dialogue doesn’t ring true. So today I’m giving you my best dialogue writing tips and tricks.

This was my absolutely most requested topic so I really hope it puts some of your questions to rest!

Characters Who Sound the Same

One of the most common issues with dialogue is all of the characters sounding the same. If the five-year-old sounds like the police chief who sounds like the ninety-year-old widow, you’ve got a problem.

Usually this problem is more common in writers who struggle to immerse themselves in some or all of their characters. If you can’t think how the character thinks and feel what the character feels, you’re going to have to put a lot more legwork into creating natural-sounding dialogue.

Another reason your characters might all sound the same is that you’re falling back on cliche or “stock” dialogue (more on that later) rather than truly thinking about what would be said in the situation.

No matter what the reason, here is a quick assignment to help you give each character their own unique way of speaking.

How to Make Your Characters Sound Different

Make a list of all the characters who do a significant amount of speaking in your novel. If there is too many to list, just pick as many as you feel able to handle right now.

Consider the following and how it might influence your character’s speech:

Upbringing: Was this character allowed to freely express their emotions in their childhood? Were they from a loud and outspoken family or a quiet one? Were they put down for saying something stupid or encouraged to ask questions? All of these things can affect the way people express themselves.

Education: Does this character have a college education? A high school education? Did they drop out of grade school? Education level has a huge impact on our word choices.

Career: What does/did this character do for a living? An engineer is going to have a very different set of vocabulary than a dentist. Furthermore, people often use analogies related to their work. A railroad worker might describe his emotions as “rumbling down the tracks.”

Worldview: Is this character a pessimist or an optimist? When things get rough, are they going to emphasize or downplay their obstacles? A pessimist might say, “I cut my goddamn finger!” while an optimist might say, “It’s just a little scrape.”

Age/Generation: When was this character raised? Someone born in the 40s isn’t going to use the same slang as someone born in 2000. And if they do try to use modern slang, they’ll probably get it wrong.

You may want to write down some example lines of dialogue for each of these elements for each of your characters and keep them handy in a document (or in Scrivener or on flashcards or whatever). Then you can refer to this “dialogue guide” often as you attempt to draw distinctions between various characters’ speech.

Another tip: When you’re ready to rewrite, edit all of one character’s dialogue at one time (and don’t touch the narration or the other characters’ dialogue) to make sure that you stay in that character’s head space and only their head space. This will make sticking to their voice a whole lot easier.

Dialogue Mistakes

There are a handful of very common dialogue mistakes that detract from the dialogue’s believability. There are a variety of forms these mistakes might take, but they all have one thing in common: the character is not speaking in a way that is authentic.

Usually this is because the writer is using the character as their mouthpiece rather than letting the character speak for him or herself. It might also be because the writer is too fixated on thinking like a writer and the dialogue they create is unnatural, too formal, or contrived.

Let’s look at some forms in which inauthentic dialogue might manifest.

“As you know, Bob…”

Telling (rather than showing) in dialogue can be effective when the reader doesn’t notice it (when it feels authentic and is in the character’s own voice), but often telling or info dumping through dialogue is so horribly, painfully apparent that it’s laughable.

“As you know, Bob, we always go out to brunch with your overbearing aunt on Sunday mornings. Ever since you lost your job and she bailed you out with that giant loan.”

If someone actually said this to Bob, can you imagine what he would be thinking? Um…yeah…I do know…why are you telling me? It’s weird. It’s awkward. It doesn’t work, and it certainly doesn’t sound authentic.

But sometimes “As you know, Bob” dialogue is not quite so apparent. Like in this example:

“I have to go to the bank today to ask about a loan. Ever since we bought this house, finances have just been so tight that I can barely afford groceries.”

Now, we can assume that this a conversation between spouses and that they are both already aware of their financial situation. So the wording just has a strangeness about it. Consider a much more natural approach:

“I’m going to go to the bank today to get that loan we talked about. I just can’t stand this. I couldn’t even buy milk yesterday. Sometimes I really wonder if this house is worth all this.”

In this second approach, the reader is far less aware of the fact that they’re being given back story.

Stilted Speech

For some reason, some writers tend to write speech like their characters are from ye olden days.

I think, in part, this comes from some myth that contractions (can’t, don’t, wouldn’t, shouldn’t) are bad. The truth is, dialogue without contractions just sounds bizarre.

“I would not go over to John’s house after school because I could not find my school paper. Is that not right, Lisa?” < This is not how people talk.

Embrace contractions. Use them often. They’re a wonderful way to make speech feel more natural.

A lack of slang, curse words, and colloquialisms is another thing that can make speech feel stilted. Overly formal sentence construction can also be a problem:

“Will you please hand me the salt shaker.” is not as natural (for most people) as something like: “Hand me the salt shaker, please.” or “Gimme that salt shaker, would ya?”

Cliche Dialogue

The last thing I want to talk about today is cliche dialogue, which can seriously impair your dialogue’s believability. Just because people say it in the movies, doesn’t mean it sounds even remotely normal.

Here are some of the biggest cliches to watch out for:

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”
“Don’t die on me!”
“I have a bad feeling about this.”
“He’s standing right behind me, isn’t he?”
“Are you sitting down?”
“So, we meet again.”
“Is this some kind of sick joke?”
“You’ll never get away with this.”
“How hard can it be?”
“We’ve got to stop meeting like this.”
“It’s quiet. Too quiet.”
“If I’m not back in ten minutes…”
“Tell my wife I love her.”
“You say that like it’s bad thing.”
“I was born ready.”

Lines like these have been used so many times that even using them as a joke seems like a cliche. Weeding cliches out of your dialogue can vastly improve believability.

Homework: Strengthen Your Dialogue

If you’ve done the first part of the homework above (to develop unique sounding dialogue for each of your characters) and you still have time to devote to Novel Boot Camp (go you!), then start working your way through your manuscript’s dialogue.

One of the most important things you can do is to say your dialogue out loud! If you’re not too shy, give your dialogue to two or more friends or family members and ask them to act it out. You will immediately sense places that seem awkward or unnatural. If your “actors” stumble over the speech or change it unconsciously (such as adding contractions), that’s also a good sign it isn’t natural.

Replace clunky, unnatural, or plain dialogue with stronger, unique dialogue. Especially focus on your first page because we’ll be having a critique next week (cue the cheering!).

Punctuating Dialogue

While you’re digging through your manuscript to improve your dialogue, go ahead and spend some time learning to punctuate it correctly.

Dialogue punctuation may seem like a small thing, but imagine a whole novel full of errors (it’s enough to make an editor shake in fear). Besides, punctuation errors just look unprofessional.

So do yourself a favor and run on over to my post: How to Punctuate Dialogue

Connect with Other Novel Boot Camp Participants

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What is Novel Boot Camp?

Novel Boot Camp is a free online novel writing course focused on identifying and correcting problems in your novel. Learn more about Novel Boot Camp and find past (and future) posts here.