Welcome to the third annual Novel Boot Camp! I’m so excited to be back for another year of writing tips and workshops!
If you participated last year, welcome back to another year of Boot Camp! If this is your first time participating, thanks for joining us! Novel Boot Camp is a ton of fun and a great opportunity to get free feedback on your novel. If you don’t know what Novel Boot Camp is, you can read more about it here.
Because Monday is Independence Day, we won’t start delving into our first topic until Tuesday. Next week is all about protagonists with four video lessons on how to write stronger, better, and more realistic characters.
Today I’m opening up the submission form for the first workshop. For the next two weeks (starting Tuesday, July 5) I will be posting the results. Make sure to submit your opening in the form below and check back every day to see if your submission was chosen for a critique.
If you’d like to see the full schedule for Novel Boot Camp, you can check it out here.
Workshop #1: “I stopped reading when…”
Hooray for Workshop #1! This was my favorite workshop from the last two years of Novel Boot Camp so I’m very excited to bring it back this year.
Agents, editors, and readers make lightning fast decisions about what they want to read. This workshop is intended to simulate the querying experience for writers who are hoping to traditionally publish. For those planning to self-publish, this workshop helps demonstrate what readers might think of your novel excerpt when deciding if they want to buy your book.
Last year I worked through 100 novel openings during this workshop. This year I’m going to run this workshop for two weeks so that I can get through even more. My hope is that the critiques will help you to avoid mistakes that get submissions deleted by agents and that cause readers to put the book down (or click away from the webpage) without buying.
You will also have the opportunity to help your fellow writers by voting whether you would continue reading after the first page.
The Critiques
I will reveal my feedback on your submissions in multiple blog posts throughout the first two weeks of Novel Boot Camp. Each blog post will include excerpts from the submitted first pages. Your name and the title of the novel will not be included. Novels will be identified by genre only.
My feedback will include the text up to the point that I stopped reading along with a few brief comments about why I didn’t continue.
You can read last year’s critiques here.
Results will be posted every weekday from Tuesday July 5th to Friday July 15.
Because this is a free course, I cannot predict how many writers will participate. This means that unfortunately I cannot guarantee everyone will have a chance to participate in every workshop. I will post submissions until time prohibits me from continuing. Thanks for understanding!
Submit your first page below:
Comment Question: What do you think is the biggest problem with your first page?
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Ellen Brock 
My problem is that my first page isn’t representative of the rest of the book. I’m writing about war refugees and the book begins when they escape, but the rest of the story actually evolves around how they cope – or don’t. I don’t know if it’s really necessary on the first page, because I still introduce the new setting within the first chapter.
Hello Ellen,
This is my first time participating in this workshop and I am looking forward to learning more about fleshing out my first novel!
Any feedback is appreciated.
Excuse my ignorance Shellysteig, but what is a “middle grade voice”?
The voice of a 11-15 year old. Early teen years. Middle school. Junior high. That sort of thing, right?
Middle grade fiction is for readers ages 8-12, protagonists are 10-13. The middle grade voice isn’t necessarily a child’s voice but just a voice that appeals to children. If you look at middle grade fiction written in omniscient, there is a very clear middle grade voice that differs significantly from adult novels.
My (first person) protagonist is paranoid, so she’s an unreliable narrator. Her hyper-vigilance kicks off the story with a tone of over-blown melodrama that could be off-putting to a reader. As she doesn’t acknowledge she’s paranoid, it’s proving tough to flag this for the reader in the first page.
That’s a really unique and interesting dilemma! I can totally see how revealing her paranoia would be difficult. I’m impressed with how well you’ve identified the potential issue of melodrama. I can’t wait to take a look at your opening.
I think it may go too fast. My attempt is to keep the reader on the edge of their seat, but may have gone a bit too fast, ie. too little description of surroundings. This first chapter takes place 16 years earlier and all will be described in the second chapter. Too late??
Hi, Ellen. Thanks for providing us with this invaluable service. I’m not certain if my first comment and submission went through, so excuse my redundancy if it did. My problem with my first chapter is that is occurs 16 years earlier. I’m having trouble with just how much detailed information to give my protagonist. I realize I’ll have to describe her twice, 16 years later, as a woman.
I’m not sure if it’s good to jump right into the chapter’s conflict and follow up with context later, or lay down some foundation that leads into the chapter’s conflict. Since it’s the beginning of the novel, I’m wondering how to hook the reader without them feeling lost.
Yes, that can be a very tricky situation! For some books the context is vital to understanding what’s occurring while in other books omitting the context initially can be more intriguing. It’s a very tough balance!
I’m fairly certain that I need to improve the setting. Have I implied enough to hook the reader? Do I need to show the reader more about what my characters are at this point?
There may be unrelated or unnecessary chapters in my book. Also, I may not have selected the best adjectives or similes to describe feelings and actions experienced by the characters.
I just don’t think it’s very strong writing. The hook isn’t very good, and I don’t think it really captivates the reader like I want it to. Other than that, I’m not really sure what wrong with it. That’s one of the things I’m hoping to learn from this experience. I know it’s not quite right, but I can’t pinpoint what that is since I’m just learning how to be a writer. Any criticism is much appreciated!